The Wednesday Howl

The Wednesday Howl

The Wednesday Howl

Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had? So, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog; I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn’t, because I’d ended up in the hospital the last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before awakening in the intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

 

 Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her oh no – I stepped off a curb to sniff a Great Dane’s butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard! WAL-MART won’t let me shop there anymore.

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18 Responses

  1. Bwwaaaahhaaaahaaa. Good one Rusty!!!!!
    Hugs
    Sunny&Scooter

  2. Oh that’s a good one!

  3. Hilarious!!

  4. Oh my gosh, my Mommy can’t stop laughing! I can’t stop laughing either! It’s too FUNNY!!! What a silly lady she was…

    Butt wiggles,
    Solid Gold Dancer

  5. I can’t stop laughing either, I wish I had been there!!!

  6. P.S. I liked your photo/map guestbook blog thingamajig I got one too.
    Dixie gets here at 10:30am tommorrow, YAY!!!!

  7. P.S again I 4got to change the location in your guestbook I’m in Launceston not hobart.

  8. That was great!!!!!! BOL!!!
    Hugs & Snugs
    Eduardo the Snuggle Puggle

  9. Hi Rusty,

    Pleased to meet you, a fellow squirrel chaser! :]

    xxxoo.
    gucci.

  10. Lol, too funny. Silly woman!

  11. That is a good one! Really!
    Kisses and hugs
    Lorenza

  12. Hilarious!!!

  13. Ha ha ha !!!

  14. HAHAHAHAHAHA. That is the good laugh that I needed so badly today. Thank you 🙂

  15. Can you delete me from the guestbook & I’ll put my proper photo & location back in properly….

  16. Ha ha ha! Now that’s what I call a good joke!

  17. I’m going to have to try that just too see if people will fall for it. LOL

    I do know there was a fellow who decided to save money on food by eating nothing but Purina Monkey Chow and documented his adventures on youtube…

    The Monkey Chow DIaries: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juwvwu3Z5HI

  18. You did NOT!

    Did you?

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