Trying to Help Mom

The other day mom war working really hard at the computer on her grade book for school and on my blog so I just knew that she wanted to take a break and play for awhile. You know, to relax and regroup her thoughts. So I went and got my orange chew bone for her to hold while i chew it. She kept on typing. 😦 I knew she still needed to relax so i put down the chewy bone and went and got my destuffed colorful ball that I got from Lorenza in the International Goody Exchange. I held the stuffy skin and looked very cutely at mom. I guess she didn’t want to play with the stuffie skin either because she just kept on typing. So I tried again with my tiny rope dog toy, no go. Poor mom must have been really stressed to not stop and play for a sec. Next I tried my old favorite the tiger stuffie that I have only partially destuffed. Well, mom didn’t even stop for the tiger stuffie when I de-stuffed it a little more right there by her. I tried one more thing: my blue chew bone. I rolled fetchingly onto my back and tried to entice her away from the computer with sheer cuteness: 

Well, that was a no go as well. Boy was I getting tired by then. Looking cute for your mom can be hard work sometimes. I thought about going to get my duckie whose nose is about chewed off but I was too tired so I just dropped the blue chewie bone and lay down right there to take a nap. Yawn.

There’s a Squirrel in My Guestbook!

OMD!!!  Alert the Squirrel patrol!!! There is a squirrel in my guestbook! He says his name is Beetlejuice (appropriate name, at least it isn’t Cheeky) and he is in my backyard watching me! YIKES! Mom is laughing and she won’t quit. I’m not a happy camper, I went out and looked in all the pecan trees. I didn’t see the little devil, but he is probably hiding up among the leaves with that little squirrel sized camera of his!

The Wednesday Howl (Martha Stewart)

Ten top ways to tell if Martha Stewart is stalking your dog

10. There’s potpourri hanging from his/her collar.

9. The dog’s nails have been cut with pinking shears.

8. The dog toys are all stored in McCoy crocks.

7. The pooper scooper has been decorated with raffia bows.

6. That telltale lemon slice in the new silver water bowl.

5. You find liver and whole wheat dog treats stamped out with copper cookie cutters and decorated with royal icing using a #2 rosette tip.

4. Dog hair has been collected and put into wire baskets for nesting material for the birds.

3. A seasonally appropriate grapevine wreath adorns the front of your dog’s crate.

2. Your dog goes outside naked and comes in wearing a thyme colored virgin wool hand-knitted sweater with matching boots.

AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY YOU KNOW THAT MARTHA STEWART IS STALKING YOUR DOG IS…

1. The dog droppings in your backyard have been sculpted into swans.

Pet Squirrel Names

Captain Rusty of the Squirrel Patrol

Daisy the Dog asked if they could keep a squirrel for a pet if they caught it while on patrol for the Squirrel Patrol. I don’t see why not as long as they do not let it back into the yard, or heaven forbid, into my yard. You know what I say: “The only good squirrel is a squirrel that’s not in my yard!” So if Daisy and Roscoe get a pet squirrel they will have to name it won’t they?

I looked up squirrel names and they were all cute names like Rocky, Twister, Alvin, Squirt, Rex, Chippy, Ricky, Pinky, Cheeky, Cheeks, Acorn, Zipper, Earl the Squirrel,……………… GAG!

I have some names for squirrels that are more suitable: Taunter, E. S. (evil squirrel), Thief, Dinner, Sammich, Pesty, P.B. (peanut brain,) Menace, Noisy, Nemesis, Error, Bane, Devil, Lucifer, Smarty Pants, Snot, Brushybutt, Lumpy, Lunatic, Plant, Rat, Snack………..

Any more suggestions?

Squirrel Patrol Update and More Awards

Hello Friends and fellow Squirrel Patrol members! We have 42 members now!  I (by “I”  I mean MOM) has sent a couple of emails off without attaching the certificates so if you don’t have your certificate yet let me know and I’ll encourage mom subtly to get her going! If you would like to join please let me know and we will get your certificate off to you! We need all the members we can get to fight the Great Squirrel Menace!

Speaking of menaces, Dennis the Vizsla Dog has kindly created a place for the Patrol to meet. Head over his place to see it. It is called :”The Doghouse of Justice!” It is very cool. Even though Dennis is a fearless member of the Squirrel Patrol he has sighted a new threat threatening his home! It is the vast Ninja Hedgehog Army! He is asking for help and I have offered the help of the Squirrel patrol!

 

More Awards to Award!

This week I would like to award my Best Bud award to 10 more of my friends.  Ten more coming next week. You can pass it along if you like, there are no rules attached to it!

Happy

Dennis the Vizsla Dog (read about the ninja hedgehogs)

Chef

Amber-Mae (go read about Amber’s sister chloe who is a real life hero)

Eduadro the Snuggle Puggle

Velcro

Sunny and Scooter

Mr. T-Bone Beasley

Behr Behr

Thoughts Fur Paws (go here to read about Puppy Mill Awareness Day)

Search Terms – Question Answered

Parlance at My Dog…Life with Penny,  the Chronicle of Woos,  and Scooter & Sunny at the Texas Sun Dogs all asked how I found out what Search terms were used to find me. Sorry guys, it’s a WordPress thing. I think y’all are with Blogger. In WordPress you can find it under the Stats portion of your Dashboard. I think if Blogger and WordPress got together and added the cool things they have seperatly in one spot it would be GREAT!

Barklove,

Rusty

Search Terms Used to Find Me

Most of the search terms have to do with squirrels, but there are a few that are just strange.

a cat size squirrel thing      rusty best     kong snugga wubba     sneezing ducks?

squirrel wagging tail      squirrels pray     story about little boy dog dies

make friends with squirrel     great squirrel facility     duckies and napoleon    

sissy boi haircuts     photographer sleeping squirel     squirrel training      woof    

 jedi squirrels     ninja squirrels     body build     evil    

where do squirrels go during a hurricane     squirrels with guns

cute dog (of course)

The Wednesday Howl

The Wednesday Howl

Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had? So, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog; I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn’t, because I’d ended up in the hospital the last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before awakening in the intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

 

 Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her oh no – I stepped off a curb to sniff a Great Dane’s butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard! WAL-MART won’t let me shop there anymore.

My Guestbook (No Squirrels Allowed)

Hi Everydoggie, everykitty and every people! This guestbook is is stuck here, forever I think. Please scroll down for new posts. But please sign it first! Thanks!

Ok, but only ONE squirrel!

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Tuffy For President (& Me for Vice President)

News!

Tuffy announced his Presidential running mate last week. He chose as his Vice-President me, Rusty!

I am very proud to have been chosen by Tuffy to be his running mate! He is an honest, sincere candidate with a platform I can back fully!

Introducing the team to beat, the presidential hopeful and his running mate:

Tuffy and Rusty

 (pictures of Tuffy used with permission)