Rusty’s Diary – Bob’s Diary

(Rusty’s mom: I got this in an email and thought it was perfect for Rusty and Bob, the hissy prickly cat. I only changed it a wee bit to fit these two.)

100_4732.jpg Rusty’s Diary

7:00 am My morning bounce! My favorite thing!

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am – Walkies in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am – Got a back scratch and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM – Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM – Chased Squirrels! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM – Milk bones with peanut butter! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM – Got to play with my snugga wubba! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with mom and dad! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

100_04392.jpgBob’s Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Day 982
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards!

Day 981
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Day 980
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs. I may also try tonight while it sleeps, I will put my butt in its face in an attempt to sufficate it.

Day 979
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. Rusty, the dog,  receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the Guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now….

Advertisements

17 Responses

  1. Wow, you have such busy days huh, Rusty?

    Love licks,
    Solid Gold Dancer

  2. This is hilarious. Isn’t it the truth about cats. The cat is a prisoner. he he

  3. I love this gag. We first heard it on Car Talk and laughed all day. I think the dialogue fits the two of you perfectly!

  4. This is hilarious!!!! I laughed all the way through the cat’s diary. So true!

  5. I love this ,it is like Obi’s and Niki’s days 🙂

  6. hahahahah we love rustys cute diary and loved bobs depressed/prisoneresque diary, so funny! and HEY Rusty isnt retarded!!

    xxxx

  7. I’ve seen this one before and every time I laugh. How well this portrays the dog and cat.

  8. *hyperventalating with laughter*

  9. Oh Rusty…you are such an optimist, even though you are not still getting the tootsie roll treats as part of your favorite things routine. What a great outlook on life you have, too bad that darn cat can’t enjoy the same things as you.

  10. Wow, I laughed until I howled!!! That was really funny, thanks for sharing.

    Cookie and crew

  11. hi,
    The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.

  12. Rusty, I think you are even happier than me. And I’m WAY happy!

  13. I saw something similiar to this one! Love it! Dogs have the best life~Don’t you Rusty?

    WOOF!

  14. You crack me up! I love the name Bob!

  15. Yeah I just don’t get those cats! Throw me a toy anyday!

  16. Very, very funny.

  17. Aha!!! So it appears I have Plagerised 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: